On the Third Day of Christmas – Book 1

On the third day of Christmas On the Tudor Trail gave to me… the chance to win a copy of Unleash Your Inner Tudor: Henry VIII’s Inspirational Guide to a Completely Sizzling, Sparkly, Tyrannical, Much Wider, Demanding, and Sexier You by Andy Demsky/aka Henry VIII.

To be in the running to win this book, leave a comment after this post.

Conditions of Entry

For your chance to win a copy of Unleash Your Inner Tudor, you must be subscribed to On the Tudor Trail’s newsletter (if you are not already, sign up on our homepage where it says ‘Free Enewsletter Subscription’).

Then simply leave a comment after this post between now and 31 December 2017. Don’t forget to leave your name and a contact email. Please note that I have comment moderation activated and need to ‘approve’ comments before they appear. There is no need to submit your comment twice.

This giveaway is open internationally.

One winner will be randomly selected and contacted by email shortly after the competition closes. Please ensure you’ve added natalie@onthetudortrail.com to your address book to avoid missing my email.

Good luck!

Find Out More

The Completely Unleashed Tudor

By Andy Demsky (Henry VIII’s Groom of the Tweets)

The new book, Unleash Your Inner Tudor, is Henry VIII’s extraordinary gift to you, his sociological and biological inferiors. His biography is an exact template for a life examined, a life glorified, and, in his not-humble opinion, a life bloody well lived.

As he likes to shout at those about to crack the book’s covers, “Prepare to have greatness thrust upon you!”

This 180-page volume is not simply a collection of the king’s tweets. Like the king himself, it aims far higher and quite a bit wider. It is in every sense a kind of bible in which history’s favourite fat, ginger despot recounts scintillating stories from his life and helps you discover the lessons tucked into them, like a quail baked inside a duck baked inside a badger baked inside a swan. The idea is to guide you, Tudorsplain to you, and hopefully frighten you into becoming the best Henry VIII you can be.

In Unleash Your Inner Tudor the reader draws supremely profound life lessons from Henry’s first sexual experience with a Boleyn (not Anne), how he outwitted his cunning grandmother, the fact that he did not have his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, poisoned (like, at all!), the ways in which his leadership skills were enhanced via the magic of brain trauma, enriching himself through the nation’s first and best Brexit and much, much more.

There are lessons in love, marriage, parenting, leadership, and managing your moods with binge eating. There is the tiniest bit about beheading, but not much given that he executed only 33% of his wives, which by any standard is a very low percentage, as Henry is always keen to point out.

The book has received loads of 5-star reviews on Amazon, which is presently the only venue courageous enough to carry this transformative tome. And on that note ….

Unleash Your Inner Tudor is, regrettably, the product of a misunderstanding about how books are supposed to be written and marketed in this era. After completing this manuscript, Henry and I discovered that there is no genre called “Tudor Self-Help/Absolute Monarchy Erotica.” And as there is no genre, no editor at any publishing house large or small in the U.S. or the U.K. had any idea how to sell it.

Apparently the man of 500 years ago is also a man ahead of his time. Or slightly to the right of his time. Or, as Henry prefers to think, a man on top of his time committing upon it unspeakable acts. All may be true simultaneously, given quantum physics, etc.

At the news that modern publishers were too timorous and unimaginative to sell his volume, Henry was, as you can imagine, apoplectic. He hurled furniture, tantrummed, stropped, did a lot of rage eating, tossed Papists in the Thames, and primal-screamed into many, many, many cakes.

Had he known more about how publishing works at present he would have written it as a thriller about a sexy monarch uncovering the greatest secrets of history at breakneck speed whilst being pursued by evil Plantagenets, hideous Spaniards, and covens of ex-wives. And he would have titled it The Girl on The Tudor.

But alas, one of the greatest lessons of Henry’s life is resilience and tenacity in the face of challenge. As he likes to say once he’s taken a breath and wiped the cake from his beard is, “Keep calm and marry on.”

Enjoy!

About the Author

Andy Demsky is a writer living in Northern California. His work has appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle, Los Angeles Times Magazine, and Better Homes and Gardens. He co-authored A Vineyard in Napa and Little House in the Hollywood Hills. He has been Henry VIII’s social media director — @knghnryviii — since 2010 and sincerely apologises for not being British; not being British was never part of his plan, it’s just that things happen in life and one has to deal with it all the best one can.

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Comments

  1. Joanna Phillimore says:

    Lov to learn more about the Tudors.

  2. Stephanie Olson says:

    I am loving these giveaways!! So excited for these books!

  3. Jessica Gasparini says:

    LOVE this site!
    Jessica Gasparini

  4. Agnes Szabo says:

    Another interesting book.

  5. Jane Thrupp says:

    Enthralling !!!!!!

  6. barbara s says:

    My 90 year old mum loves this type of book

  7. Robert Johnson says:

    Sums up my current mood really. Fantastic book!

  8. Denise Ash says:

    I love this book so much that I literally carry it around in my purse in case I need cheering up. If I win this, I’ll pay it forward and gift it to one of my friends!!!

  9. Monique Hewitt says:

    Cool!

  10. Samantha Sousa says:

    His twitter cracks me up daily. I love it. I’m such a history nerd, and I love these as much as “The Captioned Adventures of George Washington.”

  11. Hahaha i would love to win this one! Sounds like fun!

  12. Phil Morris says:

    My wife beats me hands down with her knowledge of Henry VIII. Time to redress the balance !

  13. sandra henry says:

    This sounds like a fun book ?

  14. Angie Hamilton says:

    Yay!!!

  15. Can’t recall the last time that I signed up for a contest but since the man has liked so many of my tweets (delicatebliss son twitter), I shall enter this one, have a glass of wine and hope for a win! Wait, maybe I need to think like Henry VIII.

  16. Jemma Robertson says:

    Sounds like an enjoyable read. Would love to win

  17. Sounds fun 🙂

  18. This book is a MUST!!! I’m in love with his Twitter page.

  19. Thanks for the chance!

  20. Follow Henry on Twtter. Provides solid advice, especially regarding cake.

  21. Sally Hill says:

    Oh wow – this looks amazing!!!

  22. Jennifer Winner says:

    Please pick me! ????? I absolutely love Tudor history!

  23. I would be delighted to win!!!

  24. Lori Thomas says:

    This would be a great book to own. Sounds like lots of fun. Thx for the chance!!!

  25. Mitzi Koch says:

    Fun !!

  26. I would love to win this book, am fascinated by anything Tudor. And I love his Twitter account, it’s hilarious.

  27. Rachel Colclough says:

    Love Tudor history

  28. Shaun Heathcote says:

    would love to win a book

  29. Dale Harrington says:

    Sound’s like a perfect self-help book for today’s world.

  30. Cristina McDowall says:

    Fascinating!

  31. Count me in! 🙂

  32. Barbara Jones says:

    I’d love to read this one!

  33. Hilarious!

  34. Brenda Craig says:

    If this book is as delightful as the preview,I am anxiously awaiting it

  35. Mark Schryver says:

    Free stuff! Woo hoo!

  36. Such wonderful giveaways!

  37. I would love to win a copy, it sounds like an interesting book.

  38. Geneva Standbridge says:

    Fun concept for a book, can’t wait to read it!

  39. That’s a book I definitely want to read!

  40. Georgina Saunt says:

    Sounds like a funny read!

  41. Well this looks like a fun book

  42. Wow, yes please, I would love to unleash my inner Tudor

  43. margaret ward says:

    this looks good

  44. Rebecca Howells says:

    A very interesting era. Love the front cover too!

  45. Hayley Lynch says:

    Always been intrigued by the Tudors since I learnt about them in primary school

  46. Sophie Blencowe says:

    Self confessed, obsessive Tudor nut that would inhale this book and really, really, REALLY love it!???

  47. Keep calm and marry on! This is a must read!

  48. This would be perfect NYE reading. What a wonderful opportunity!

  49. I need Unleash your inner Tudor!!! I’d live to have it! ???

  50. Yes please!!