On the Third Day of Christmas – Book 1

On the third day of Christmas On the Tudor Trail gave to me… the chance to win a copy of Unleash Your Inner Tudor: Henry VIII’s Inspirational Guide to a Completely Sizzling, Sparkly, Tyrannical, Much Wider, Demanding, and Sexier You by Andy Demsky/aka Henry VIII.

To be in the running to win this book, leave a comment after this post.

Conditions of Entry

For your chance to win a copy of Unleash Your Inner Tudor, you must be subscribed to On the Tudor Trail’s newsletter (if you are not already, sign up on our homepage where it says ‘Free Enewsletter Subscription’).

Then simply leave a comment after this post between now and 31 December 2017. Don’t forget to leave your name and a contact email. Please note that I have comment moderation activated and need to ‘approve’ comments before they appear. There is no need to submit your comment twice.

This giveaway is open internationally.

One winner will be randomly selected and contacted by email shortly after the competition closes. Please ensure you’ve added natalie@onthetudortrail.com to your address book to avoid missing my email.

Good luck!

Find Out More

The Completely Unleashed Tudor

By Andy Demsky (Henry VIII’s Groom of the Tweets)

The new book, Unleash Your Inner Tudor, is Henry VIII’s extraordinary gift to you, his sociological and biological inferiors. His biography is an exact template for a life examined, a life glorified, and, in his not-humble opinion, a life bloody well lived.

As he likes to shout at those about to crack the book’s covers, “Prepare to have greatness thrust upon you!”

This 180-page volume is not simply a collection of the king’s tweets. Like the king himself, it aims far higher and quite a bit wider. It is in every sense a kind of bible in which history’s favourite fat, ginger despot recounts scintillating stories from his life and helps you discover the lessons tucked into them, like a quail baked inside a duck baked inside a badger baked inside a swan. The idea is to guide you, Tudorsplain to you, and hopefully frighten you into becoming the best Henry VIII you can be.

In Unleash Your Inner Tudor the reader draws supremely profound life lessons from Henry’s first sexual experience with a Boleyn (not Anne), how he outwitted his cunning grandmother, the fact that he did not have his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, poisoned (like, at all!), the ways in which his leadership skills were enhanced via the magic of brain trauma, enriching himself through the nation’s first and best Brexit and much, much more.

There are lessons in love, marriage, parenting, leadership, and managing your moods with binge eating. There is the tiniest bit about beheading, but not much given that he executed only 33% of his wives, which by any standard is a very low percentage, as Henry is always keen to point out.

The book has received loads of 5-star reviews on Amazon, which is presently the only venue courageous enough to carry this transformative tome. And on that note ….

Unleash Your Inner Tudor is, regrettably, the product of a misunderstanding about how books are supposed to be written and marketed in this era. After completing this manuscript, Henry and I discovered that there is no genre called “Tudor Self-Help/Absolute Monarchy Erotica.” And as there is no genre, no editor at any publishing house large or small in the U.S. or the U.K. had any idea how to sell it.

Apparently the man of 500 years ago is also a man ahead of his time. Or slightly to the right of his time. Or, as Henry prefers to think, a man on top of his time committing upon it unspeakable acts. All may be true simultaneously, given quantum physics, etc.

At the news that modern publishers were too timorous and unimaginative to sell his volume, Henry was, as you can imagine, apoplectic. He hurled furniture, tantrummed, stropped, did a lot of rage eating, tossed Papists in the Thames, and primal-screamed into many, many, many cakes.

Had he known more about how publishing works at present he would have written it as a thriller about a sexy monarch uncovering the greatest secrets of history at breakneck speed whilst being pursued by evil Plantagenets, hideous Spaniards, and covens of ex-wives. And he would have titled it The Girl on The Tudor.

But alas, one of the greatest lessons of Henry’s life is resilience and tenacity in the face of challenge. As he likes to say once he’s taken a breath and wiped the cake from his beard is, “Keep calm and marry on.”

Enjoy!

About the Author

Andy Demsky is a writer living in Northern California. His work has appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle, Los Angeles Times Magazine, and Better Homes and Gardens. He co-authored A Vineyard in Napa and Little House in the Hollywood Hills. He has been Henry VIII’s social media director — @knghnryviii — since 2010 and sincerely apologises for not being British; not being British was never part of his plan, it’s just that things happen in life and one has to deal with it all the best one can.

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Comments

  1. Clive Howe says:

    This sounds like it will be a fun read

  2. Laura Ballard says:

    Would love to read this!

  3. This looks very entertaining and I’m not one to pass on anything Henry VIII.

  4. Please pick me, I need to ginger up! 😉

  5. Love reading Tudor history, especially Henry and the crazy [and not so crazy] shit he did is truly fascinating.

  6. Bryan Evans says:

    Great book and prizes, best of luck everyone.

  7. Leslie Blue says:

    This sounds interesting.

  8. Laura Barratt says:

    My boss would adore this as she loves everything History!

  9. Lesley Walsh says:

    This sounds a bit different. Would love to win a copy,

  10. (What, you mean that *isn’t* the *real* Henry VIII tweeting?)

    Here’s hoping historical fictional humor will be a relief from current political reality.

  11. Rie Tetley says:

    It would be wonderful to win this.

  12. Wendy Ahl says:

    Sounds hilarious, would love to read this.

  13. Sounds right up my street

  14. Henry VIII is such an inspiration!! Except at being a husband :)….great book…wonderful website!! Cheers

  15. Linda Arbuckle says:

    Fun read and it looks perfect for just dipping into.

  16. Diana Blankenship says:

    Sounds entertaining

  17. I have always wondered how I could better emulate Henry VIII in my life. Thank you for writing this book.

  18. Fiona Foskett says:

    Perfect for my 18 year old daughter who is studying the Tudors for her A levels

  19. Helen Thurston says:

    This looks like an entertaining read, would love to win a copy.

  20. Helen Garner says:

    Sounds an entertaining read

  21. Rebecca Brown says:

    This sounds fantastic, I’d love to read it!

  22. Sounds fun! Would love to read this!

  23. Alas my love, ye do me wrong to cast me off discourteously.
    If I don’t win this book, I won’t delight in your company. ~ Maybe not King Henry VIII

  24. Get your Tudor on and have fun doing it!

  25. I would love to read this

  26. Nicole Stanfield Caile says:

    This sounds hilarious 🙂

  27. Katie Rodriguez says:

    Sounds really interesting and fun. I’d love to read what His majesty has to say!

  28. Love Tudor history!

  29. Jayne Watkin says:

    A bit of a cheeky perspective! Would love to read this!

  30. I’m pretty sure Henry VIII’s spirit animal was Machiavelli.

  31. Michelle Bollig says:

    This looks like a fun read. 🙂

  32. Phyllis Barabino says:

    Sounds like a really good read

  33. Jenny Vote says:

    Sounds like it would be a different book than what I’m currently reading ! Would love to win! Thanks for the contest!

  34. Lynne Manton says:

    This looks like it may be an interesting angle to look at a king we have read so much about.

  35. Deanna Guadagno says:

    Would love to read!!!

  36. Laura Jeffs says:

    Would love to read this book!

  37. Laetitia Donoso says:

    I follow His Majesty on Twitter, I would love to read him in print too!

  38. Jennifer cyrus says:

    Yes please!

  39. STUART HARGREAVES says:

    all he wanted was a son so his line would carry on

  40. Haha! Now this book sounds wonderful!

  41. Tom Baines says:

    sounds amazing

  42. Elaine Robinson says:

    I love anything Tudor. I love reading about the times of his life. Can’t get enough of it

  43. Michae Griffin says:

    Probably the most famous Tudor

  44. Rich Tyler says:

    Lovely., count me in

  45. Nicholas Bootle says:

    great

  46. Alicia Mae says:

    This looks like such a fun book!

  47. MARILYN ANN HOLLEY says:

    Looks like a fun read.

  48. This looks like a great big BEAUTIFUL book!

  49. I’m in!

  50. This sounds interesting. Very different from most books