On the twenty-fourth day of Christmas On the Tudor Trail gave to me… the chance to win a copy of Unleash Your Inner Tudor by Henry VIII (aka Andy Demsky)!

To be in the running to win this book, leave a comment after this post.

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For your chance to win Unleash Your Inner Tudor by Henry VIII (also known as Andy Demsky), you must be subscribed to On the Tudor Trail’s newsletter (if you are not already, sign up on our homepage where it says ‘Free Enewsletter Subscription’).

Then simply leave a comment after this post between now and 31 December 2018. Don’t forget to leave your name and a contact email. Please note that I have comment moderation activated and need to ‘approve’ comments before they appear. There is no need to submit your comment twice.

This giveaway is open internationally.

One winner will be randomly selected and contacted by email shortly after the competition closes. Please ensure you’ve added natalie@onthetudortrail.com to your address book to avoid missing my email.

Good luck!

Find Out More

Henry VIII Answers Questions From Peasants

By Andy Demsky (Henry VIII’s Groom of the Tweets)

Henry VIII has a Christmas prezzie for you proles: the gift of greatness. And it’s not just in the form of his book but in finally answering some of your questions.

As you may know, His Majesty has been on Twitter for eight years and over the course of that time many, many of you (his “sociological and biological inferiors”) have tweeted questions which until now have been ignored and, frankly, treated with some scorn and misgiving. But in the name of Christmas and of promoting his “inspiringly inspirational guide to life”, UNLEASH YOUR INNER TUDOR, I have been granted permission to provide “amazing and glorious” answers to some of your more popular and “typically intrusive peasant” queries.

How he does it? How does a monarch who lived and apparently died some 500 years ago manage to get his thoughts onto Twitter?

It’s fascinating. His Majesty composes the Tweets in his mind and utters them in a booming, authoritative voice (between bites of cake) in Latin. These thoughts are written down in a great hurry by a terrified underling and hurried off to a translator, who transcribes them into 16^th century-style English. They are then conveyed to me via a secret and not very pleasant process and I turn them into Tweets that are understandable to the 21^st century Twitter follower.

Why is Thomas Cromwell apparently alive in some tweets and dead in others?

Lovely question. I do not seem to be receiving the tweets in any sort of chronological order. His Majesty actually addresses some of this in the final chapter of Unleash Your Inner Tudor, though I’m skeptical of what he lays out there. In that chapter he portrays Mary Boleyn has being rather hot for His Majesty which, just between you and me, raises some red flags in terms of credibility.

Henry VIII does not seem very funny when we read about him in history books. How is he funny now?

It is of enormous concern to him that his tweets are considered “humourous.” He has smashed many delicate royal objects and screamed into many platters of cheese platters over this, I am told.

His Majesty would like me to make a very strong point of this: his tweets are not funny. Like, at all. He is an extremely serious person. His thoughts are essentially the thoughts of God (as the two of them are very close colleagues).

The worst thing you can do to a fat, ginger, tyrant is to laugh at him. Don’t ever do this.

What does Henry VIII like most about Twitter?

Cat videos.

Who was Henry VIII’s favourite wife?

He’s asked me not to say. (It’s Jane Seymour. Tell no one.)

What does Henry VIII think of Brexit?

His Majesty believes that his Brexit of 1534 (when he broke from Rome) provided a glorious, if not sexy template for future governments to follow and spends a lot of time incoherently angered that his example has been ignored. He does a lot of rage eating over the fact that A) voting and democracy exist B) peasants were ever allowed to vote C) ladies were allowed to vote D) peasants and ladies were allowed to vote on this Brexit in particular, which has spoilt the whole thing. The entire point of a Brexit, in His Majesty’s mind, is to make the King and his friends rich – whilst feigning that you’re doing it for the good of the country or for personal dating reasons – and leave peasants to look upon you in worshipful amazement.

Looking back on his life, what does Henry VIII regret most?

Regret is a feeling that Henry VIII has read about in books. He knows the word. He understands that other people experience it. His emotional menu, however, is comprised entirely of the following: overconfidence, self-congratulatory joy, and rage.

What does Henry VIII think of Donald Trump?

It’s a complex relationship. Henry VIII supports any politician who carries the banner for 16^th-Century style thinking and values. But having said that, he has concerns that Mr. Trump is in danger of giving fat, ginger tyranny a bad name.

How were you, Andy Demsky, chosen to be Henry VIII’s Groom of the Tweets?

I wish I knew. As any historian will readily tell you, I am completely unqualified. (Historians get rather worked up, emotional, and frothy on this point.) I do not have a university degree from anywhere that matters. I am not on television. I cannot trace my ancestry back to royalty of any sort. I do not own a codpiece. I’m not even British. I did once use the loo at Hampton Court in 2010 (a few months prior to the start of the Twitter account) during which I had a hallucinatory experience that I don’t like to talk about. Also, my wife’s name is exactly that of one of Henry’s wives. Take from that what you will.

Is Unleash Your Inner Tudor the greatest book in the history of books and writing and self-help?
Yes.

About the Author

Andy Demsky is a writer living in Northern California. His work has appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle, Los Angeles Times Magazine, and Better Homes and Gardens. He co-authored A Vineyard in Napa and Little House in the Hollywood Hills. He has been Henry VIII’s social media director — @knghnryviii — since 2010 and sincerely apologises for not being British; not being British was never part of his plan, it’s just that things happen in life and one has to deal with it all the best one can.